Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Few Venus Jokes


Venus is likely the most inhospitable planet in the solar system. The greenhouse effect has driven surface temperatures are so high that they are warmer than Mercury, a planet closer to the sun. It is perpetually cloudy, rains sulfuric acid, and is absolutely bone dry; the greenhouse effect boiled all of the water off into space. The Russians sent few probes there, one sent back a picture of the surface.


If this looks crappy, bare in mind, it is the only picture we have of the surface of Venus, and it took 9 attempts to capture and transmit back to earth. In the test chambers they made for prototypes, they frequently would open the chamber after a test to find their work reduced to a puddle of molten metal.

Such a horrible environment yields some horrible humor:

  • On Venus, the sun rises in the West, but it's always too cloudy to see it.

  • On Venus, you could cry in the rain, but your face would get burned off.

  • On Venus, you could kill yourself, but Venus would kill you first.

  • On Venus, there's never a drought, but nothing ever grows.

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