Tuesday, March 09, 2010

The Beer Mug: Rendering Bowls Obsolete Since 2010

I live in a house. It's a house with four bachelors and two soup bowls--that is, bowls that can hold a large amount of hot stuff. We have some bowls that can hold hot stuff but are too small, and we have some bowls that are big enough for soup but only hold cold stuff.

As you can imagine, a house full of bachelors eats a lot of soup, so this causes problems. What if three people want to eat soup? What if two people want to eat soup, but both bowls are dirty? Sometimes, I just don't eat soup as a result. Yes, that's pretty sad, but so is only having two soup bowls.

Today the soup bowls were dirty, I didn't have any other food in the house, so I needed a solution or I would starve. I always eat cereal out of cups, so why couldn't I eat soup out of a beer mug?

It worked. In fact, it worked so well, I'm never eating soup out of a bowl again. In fact, I don't think I'll use them for anything. Fuck bowls, they're useless.

Consider the soup eating method:
+ Stick spoon in soup.
+ Eat the good bits.
+ Drink broth.
+ Repeat until soup is vanished.

It does not differ greatly from the cereal method:
+ Stick spoon in milk/cereal mixture.
+ Eat the good bits
+ Repeat until good bits are gone.
+ Drink milk.

Bowls are not conducive to drinking--crucial to both cereal and soup consumption. Check this out:

It's like the mug was made for drinking!

The only part of the consumption method I haven't covered is the spoon sticking part, but I assure you, there is no conflict. You can't see the good bits in a bowl anyway.

The mug also has a neat property--a handle. You can pick up the mug and walk around with it, unlike a bowl, where you burn your goddamn hands moving it from wherever you warmed it to wherever you intend to eat it.

If anyone can think of a good use for a bowl, let me know. Otherwise, when I get my own place, I'm not buying any. I'm just buying a bunch of beer mugs. These things are cheap at Wal-Mart--like, $2, maybe. I can't remember. Either way, I was surprised how cheap they were, and now that I know I can use them for everything, I will.


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