Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Gates Caller Just Wants Free Beer with Obama

Why is this woman having press conferences? Who cares why she called the police? The cop was an asshole--like most cops--and the professor was being an asshole because cops are assholes--like I would. If all I need to do to have beer with the president is get a PhD and get arrested, I'm down with that.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Subscribe via SMS

Facebook has a feature where you can subscribe to your friends via SMS. Everytime they do something on FB, you get a text message.

That's just creepy.

Joe Biden's Job is to Say Stupid Shit

It seems that everything that comes out of Joe Biden's mouth is fucking stupid. It's a trend that started with Swine Flu. If you can't remember--when interviewed about Swine Flu--Joe Biden said something along the lines of "I wouldn't go on an airplane right now; hell, I wouldn't put my family on a plane."

I don't want him to shut up though. Sure, he says stupid things, but he makes Obama look better. After 8 years of a president that made us look bad, it's about time we had a president that looks good.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Lady Gaga, and Why Music Lost Its Magic

I recently acquired a taste for Lady Gaga. Four years ago, I would have rather beaten my head against a cement curb, but my tastes have grown as I've aged, and now I'll listen to just about anything, whether or not I even like it. Lady Gaga infected my soul quickly, and Pokerface became a habit.

Listening to Pokerface on loop, I noticed something. The song had four distinct phases:
+ Introduction
+ Main Sequence
+ Breakdown
+ Conclusion
In fact, all of Lady Gaga's songs had this pattern. Each phase plays a particular role in the overall dynamic of the song:

+ The Introduction steadily introduces the main sequence of the song.
+ The Main Sequence is the main beat, chords, and refrain of the song. When one thinks of the song, this is what they remember.
+ The Breakdown conflicts the Main Sequence. It sounds strange and may be in a different key from the Main Sequence.
+ The Conclusion features elements of the Main Sequence, but with tones that make the song feel complete and concluded.

All of Lady Gaga's songs are patterned like this. But once I noticed this, I noticed it in nearly every song, ever. It's more subtle sometimes, but nearly every song has this pattern.

Take, for example, Beethoven's 9th. Oh yes, the 9th. It's in four parts. The third is distinctly different from the other three, and the fourth contains elements of the whole song to conclude it.

Listen for it. Listen to Lady Gaga first. Then put on your favorite songs. It's all over.

*Post script: This probably isn't new, and the musicians out there are going to tell me "yea, that's called X." Please, do tell. I'd like to do more research into this.