Thursday, March 27, 2008

Flying Drunk?

Is it illegal to fly an airplane drunk? Or do they assume you'll just kill yourself?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Liberty University: You Won't Find Any Liberty There

Here, I invoke a cliche--but necessary--device.

Liberty, as defined by its Wikipedia entry as:
"Liberty, in modern time, is generally considered a concept of political philosophy and identifies the condition in which an individual has the ability to act according to his or her own will."

If your will is to be oppressed and forced to obey a series of fascist rules, then this facility is full of it. The rest of the population, I'm most certain, disagrees.

The Liberty University Code of Conduct lays down the long dick of Jesus Christ's Offical Moral Code(TM) in two ways: reprimands and fines. I don't know what a repremand is, I guess if you get too many they kick you out of school or make you blow the president. What really tickles my funny bone is the fines; the school is motivating you to follow Christian principles by charging you money. Give to Caesar what is Caesars? Jesus is in on this money shit too.

These punishments are quite imbalanced, though the rules alone are quite absurd. They have curfews, for example. What kind of college has curfews? This one does, and you get one reprimand for every half-hour late past 2 am.

Let's say you attend a required convocation service (Church, it sounds like), and you just stand there and do nothing because you have a headache, or maybe you're on your period and feel like letting God know he fucked up this time of month. That's 4 reprimands and a $10 fine.

Having a shitty day? Want a smoke? Want to go to a dance? Both of those are 6 reprimands and a $25 fine.

Say you want to rally on campus to protest how much the place sucks? Maybe watch a porno because they've explicitly banned sex? That's 12 reprimands and a $50 fine.

What if I want to say "fuck this shit? This is fucking bullshit!" 12-18 reprimands and a "corresponding" fine, depending on how much money John McCain's campaign needs this week.

Gotta get naked? "Any state of undress" is a $250 fine. I guess there's no showering at Liberty! That place's gotta smell like BO.

Now here's the real kicker--witchcraft, drinking, abortion, immorality, spending the night with a person of the opposite sex, and death threats. These all bare 30 reprimands and a $500 fine. The horrors of drinking and witchcraft!

What is most infuriating about all this mess is the fact that a lot poor sods don't choose to go to school here; their parents do. After all, their parents are paying for it, what other choice do they have? Sure, they're 18, they can act independently, but I doubt they've been raised in a manner to allow them to, a manner that gives them the gut and the gonads to strike out and say, "fuck this." This is a bunch of people who've put up with shit like this their entire lives and now have not the courage to change it.

This is where the soul of the poor gay kid from a Christian town goes to die.

This is where the soul of the youth goes to die.

This is where my peers and their minds go to die in my eyes.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

ya! ftw!

You know he's right.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Valid Purpose of Psychics and Religion

Psychics and astrologers are criticized for practicing pseudosciences; using ambiguity and smoke and mirrors, they lead people into believing that the stars or psychic powers are capable of grasping the future or the unknown present. Even religion capitalizes on such ambiguities, using universal human dilemmas as a proof and basis for validity, offering solutions for sehnsucht and strife.

Despite that such fortune tellers are full of crap, these people have been in business for millennia, and even in our modern scientific world, they show no sign of leaving. They continue to work because people want them to be true--above all, people want them.

The foundation of a capitalist society is people paying for what they want. If people want something to be true, pay for it, go through the motions of it, and hear what they want, then so be it. The customer is satisfied, the provider is ten bucks richer, and everyone's happy. Psychics and religion provide this very valid service, allowing people to hear what they want, to provide them with hope.

I'll Blog the Shit Out of You

Quite a threat? Quite a phrase?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Tax Relief Package: I Won't Be Stimulating the Economy

I'm going to Poland this May. Where will I be spending my tax return, the money George Bush stuck into the economy to fix it?

Poland.

Will that help the US economy?

No.

Do I care?

no.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Vietnam is a Period in Time

If you look at the map, yes, there is a country called Vietnam, but Vietnam in the common American tongue refers to the period in time of American involvement in Vietnam. The US never had anything else to do with the place, so what else would the word refer to?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Fuck Hillary Clinton

If she wins the primaries, I'm voting for Nader.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

HDTV Makes Television and Celebrities Ugly Again

On old television, the resolution is lower. As a result, a lot of details are lost: blemishes, wrinkles, cellulite. I never realized this till I first saw an HDTV and saw all these people with facial features I wasn't used to. These people in the television for the first time looked real and had flaws.

Maybe this is the wake-up call we need. Our celebrities are no longer impervious. We can tell when they have too much make-up on, we can tell when they feel sick, when they're getting old. Perhaps the time of the box gods is over.
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