Thursday, December 27, 2007

Clustr Maps Says No Chinese Here

According to the Clustr map of hits on this website (visible to the right), there have been no hits from China. I think the PRC could use a little brain refuse, so to encourage hits from those lovelies over there, here's a list of questions commonly typed into Google China. Though probably not in English, it can't hurt...

Top 10 "Why" questions:

1. Why did they go on the Long March?
2. Why are we alive?
3. Why do we need to drink water?
4. Why can't I open this page/link?
5. Why does my hair fall out?
6. Why can't I get online?
7. Why do we love?
8. Why study?
9. Why take part in exams?
10. Why get married?

Top Ten "How" questions:

1. How to lose weight?
2. How to reset a system?
3. How to make money?
4. How to get pregnant?
5. How to build a harmonious society?
6. How to start a business?
7. How to put on make-up?
8. How to kiss?
9. How to trade stocks?
10. How to get plastic surgery?

Top 10 "What Is" questions:

1. What is love?
2. What is the Long March spirit?
3. What is a blog?
4. What is dual-core?
5. What is 3G?
6. What is harmonious society?
7. What are futures?
8. What is a trojan horse?
9. What is happiness?
10. What is an ecosystem?

Top 10 "Should I" questions:

1. Should I read the classics?
2. Should I continue living?
3. Should people with computers keep writing characters by hand?
4. Should I take part in exams?
5. Should I join the Party?
6. Should I have a child?
7. Should we abolish the death penalty?
8. Should I see an Internet friend in person?
9. Should I get married?
10. Should I buy a house?

The list can be found here:

There IS Gravity on the FUCKING MOON

I just watched this commercial:
Sure, it was funny, but it propagated a common mistake made by a lot of people here on earth. The same mistake was made by a FedEx Super Bowl Commerical a few years back.


The simplest proof of this is here:

Yes, so the astronauts on the moon bounced around a lot, but if you look closely, they fall back down. This is because there is gravity "pulling" on them... just like on earth.

Why is this? All mass in the universe has gravity. Even you do. In fact, only things with mass* are affected by gravity. The earth has enough mass to hold people on it. The sun has enough mass to hold the earth in orbit. The moon has enough mass to cause tides.

So ya, there's gravity on the moon. Think I have no sense of humor? Too fucking bad. Misinformation isn't funny; it's stupid.

*There are exceptions to this rule, but those rules have exceptions, and if you want to know more, read a book on the behavior of light in powerful gravity wells.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Suicide Santas

When the suicide bombers start moving over here, they're gonna dress up in Santa costumes. The irony of blowing up Americans in big red Christian symbols of capitalism is too hard for them to miss, and there's enough room to fit a dirty bomb in a big fat Santa outfit.

I'm not stepping near another Santa in a crowd again.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Pirates Were the Original Gangstas

Black Bart, the best pirate ever, said:
"In an honest service there is thin commons, low wages, and hard labour. In this, plenty and satiety, pleasure and ease, liberty and power; and who would not balance creditor on this side, when all the hazard that is run for it, at worst is only a sour look or two at choking? No, a merry life and a short one shall be my motto."

So get rich or die trying? Goddamn, pirates were the original gangstas.