Tuesday, May 23, 2006

What You Can Do For the Price of a PS3

I've heard the PS3 is going to cost $600. At that point, you might as well buy a PC. Here are some more suggestions for using the money:

*Combine it with another $600 (that is, the $600 of replacement fees or repairs because of crummy console engineering, as seen in the 360) and buy a nice computer.

*Go on a vacation.

*Buy an airsoft AEG or buy 10 crappy airsoft guns and play a real FPS with your friends.

*Same principle with paintball guns.

*Buy a Wii and some games.

*Buy 200 gallons of gas.

In fact, I estimate that the PS3 is so expensive, you could use half the cost of purchase to fund an operation to steal one. Yea, really.

Here's a statement from Sony regarding the price tag:

Here at Sony, we've received a lot of negative feedback regarding the estimated retail price tag on the PS3. Sony, however, does not view this as a negative thing. In fact, the high price tag excites us. It means we can sell you more. This might cost you more, but you don't need that money anyway. We do. We want your money.

So they didn't literally say that, but they might as well have. As I mentioned in the last post, the more they give you, the more they have a chance to take. People aren't that stupid though. $599 is one dollar from a commercial foot-up-the-ass, and their sales will reflect that.

Some systems had a pitiful demise, but there was optimism before their release. PS3, although "pretty," is already doomed.


Sunday, May 21, 2006

German Profanity

Today, I was working on translating "to have a headache" for a German project when I stumbled upon a profane phrase:

"to have a dump" - kacken
"to have a dump" - kacken gehen [vulg.]

Interesting... kacken seems to derive from the same route as the Spanish "caca," the Latin "caco, carare," which means "to shit." What I'm curious about is why "kacken" is not vulgar while "kacken gehen" is labeled as vulgar. I'll have to ask my German teacher tommorow.

Now, my pallete wet, I decided to pursue the rest of German profanity. This is what I found:

"bumsen," "poppen," "ficken" - to fuck

The root of "ficken" is obviously similar to that of "to fuck," but what about "bumsen" and "poppen?" I'll have to investigate...

"Fehler machen," "Scheiss bauen" - to fuck up

These are interesting phrases. "Fehler machen" literally means "to make failure" and "Scheiss bauen" literally means "to construct shit." A funny way of putting it, huh?

"das Miststück" - bastard, bitch

German is well known for pairing together long strings of words into one gigantic noun. Sometimes, such derivatives are not as massive. "Miststück" derives from two words: "Mist"--"crap" or "droppings"--and "Stück"-- "lump." Therefore, a German word for bastard/bitch translates to mean "crap lump."

"scheissen, scheisst, schiss, geschissen" - to shit, shit, shat, shat

Ironically, the verb "to shit"--in both German and English--is irregular.

"überschnappen" - to go ape shit

Funny that they would even include that phrase (on the English end).

"aus Angst in die Hosen schiessen"- to shit bricks

Here, "to shit bricks" is literally translated as "to shit out anger in the pants." I'm guessing that people in German really do say that. Pretty cool.

Fun stuff. Next time I get the chance, I'm gonna tell someone they constructed crap.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Value Shopper Death Trap

We always buy a gallon of milk. I'm always afraid to finish off the last half of the gallon because I fear it has gone bad.

Sometimes, we buy two quarts of milk. It's more expensive per unit, but it at least tastes fine...

BAM! Enlightenment.

If I only use two quarts of a gallon of milk, is it worth buying the gallon? Hell no! So why did I buy the gallon in the first place? Because the milk supposedly is a better value in higher quantities; they sell you more FOR LESS.

It doesn't seem to make sense. After all, if a company wants to make more money, they would sell the goods at a higher price per quantity, but instead they're selling at a lower price per quantity.

Oh, but then it does make sense.

Say a bottled water company is at production capacity. They want to increase profits without raising prices. What do they do? Sell the same product in a higher quantity at a slightly lower price, giving the guise of savings, but increasing profits because they have successfully sold you more units.

Sometimes, you might need that many units. Sometimes you don't. Take soda, for example. An 8 ounce soda sells for 50 cents. Now, double that to 16 ounces and sell it for a dollar. Same profit per unit, but the company selling has successfully doubled its money. Do you need that much soda? Probably not, after the first 8 ounces, your taste buds generally become numb to it.

I admit, the greater quantities can be beneficial at times. Shampoo won't go stale; soap can probably sit for decades without waning. Wholesale porn is self-explanatory and plenty reusable.

Really, the whole issue collapses around food. Food goes bad... unless you eat it, therefore making people fatter by selling them copious amounts of food they don't need.

Stick to the man, buy less, stay healthy, or go back to Costco and choke on your own cholesterol ridden, exploding heart attack. Yea, I'm talking to you, fatty. Your current state is not your fault, but you can fight it--you can fight it.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Phallic Symbol

A professor stands in front of a class. On the overhead, there is a gigantic penis...
"This is a phallic symbol, sacred to many ancient societies. It was excavated near..."
:semi-supressed laughter in the back of the room:
"What? Who isn't taking this seriously?"
"You have a giant penis on the overhead!" :a uproarious laughter fills the room:

:7000 years earlier:
"Dude, you just made a giant penis!"
"Yea, I know."
:both laugh:


If so many women are worried about females being disinterested in math and science, why don't they themselves get interested?