Sunday, April 30, 2006

People Actually Read This Thing?

About five days ago, I set up a ClustrMap for this "blog" over on the right. Amazing... people actually do read this. Not just one person either--I've had 77 visitors in the last five days.


Well, thanks for stopping by, and if there are any regular readers out there, you really have me in shock. Thanks.

Baker Street

One of my friends most recently introduced me to the song "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty. At first, I was not receptive, but very quickly I've grown to love this song.

I've listened to a lot and come to hear something about it. The simple introduction creates something humble, but what really makes the song is the saxophone... it makes the song so eternal. There's really no other way to describe it. There's the guitar solo, but it always comes back to the undying sax.

Amazing, really. I'm having difficulty expressing this.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Integration: A Problem of Decimals

Integration is a pain in the ass. Just as much so for third graders is division.

Multiplication is simple as long as one can understand addition. 5*3 = 5 + 5 + 5 = 15, or take 3 instances of 5 and add them together.

Division is backasswards. 30/5 is not so simply an action, it is an inversal. This process is typically simplified though and is comprehended as "what multiplies by 5 to equal 30." But the true meaning of this division is to figure out, if you were to split 30 into five parts, how large those parts would each be. The typical simplification turns 30/5 = x into 5*x=30, and asks for it to be solved intuitively. Using this system, one must know the multiplication tables to have any hope with division.

Integration and derivation are the same way. Inorder to integrate, one must have a strong knowledge of derivatives. When integrating, however, one is trained to think "hmm, what derives to equal this." On the contrary, the thinking should be entirely different: "hmm, what formula would best represent another dimension* of this function."

*I have another explanation for this but don't feel like explaining right now.

Consider thus. Say, for example,
37/5 = 7 + 2/5
A mixed number. This is how we represent integrals.

Why not give a "decimal" representation of integrals? How would this work?

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Postal Dis-service

I hate the postal service.

Last summer, while I was at governor's school, I saw a few of the many letters sent through to my piers slaughtered, literally. The envelopes and their contents were torn to shreds and machine ruined. What made the whole thing a spectacle was the way they picked up the pieces, put them in an envelope, and sent them to the receiver anyway with a message that says "we care" on it. Care? Machines don't care. Machines kill people and letters. They don't have feelings. If you cared, you'd transcribe the ruined work to something intelligble before dumping it off on the receiver.

Just the other day, I sent an envelope first class with a scholarship application in it. It has disappeared. It wasn't returned to me, the sponsoring organization doesn't have it either. Way to go.

Why don't we just do everything over the internet? It's cheap, reliable, and fast.

No, that would make sense.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

A Criminal Law

This can't be happening.

This means war.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Hell, I can't even send mail right...

Last Friday, I went to the post office and send a scholarship in for the Manassas Education Association scholarship, first class. Today, it was not in their hands. It's fucking Tuesday. I have irreplaceable letters of reference in there. :voof: fuckers disappeared.

Last report card, almost all my grades have dropped a letter grade, except the one fucking class I spent far too much time working on, wherein people in my group were punished for us having an incomplete project. :voof: gpa explode.

Last Calc assignment, so close to finishing the class, got mailed back to me. :voof: college gpa plummet.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Double Post

Just before this, I made my first double post.

The question is, which should I delete?

Arguments for deleting the first: It's exsistence was never confirmed and is, ergo, illegitimate.
Arugments for deleting the second: The first was first.

Finding Fate

Do not latch on to ideals. Latch on to nothing.

Step, gently. Step.

You'll find something but don't rush it. It will come to you. Take it in steps. Small steps. Let it grow, independently.

Finding Fate

Do not latch on to ideals. Latch on to nothing.

Step, gently. Step.

You'll find something but don't rush it. It will come to you. Take it in steps. Small steps. Let it grow, independently.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Acid Again

I can feel my blood pumping acid again; stomach churns like all hell.

All bodily functions mobilize, panic sets in, but once controlled, the adrenaline gives strength and discipline. I go numb and need it, I need to die while bulletproof, bleeding all over, bloody heap I am.

In the past, I have spoken of my axe, swinging at full, till it is broken. Now, the same, so many injuries...

To survive is to become and live through pain. These burdens are not to be conquered; I can't escape them. Once you are pain, you no longer feel pain, and it all goes numb. It mechanizes. It galvanizes.

The axe never broke; it bounced back and injured my arms. Now I must swing again, and there's no arms to swing with. I must will them back to life--create strength from nothing, from spirit.

Now I swing that the axe will break. I swing.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Eagle Productions

If you look at this class grade wise, it is an infinitely deep hole. No matter how much you throw in, the same thing is put out, nothing.

If you look at this class as an opportunity, a chance for individual expression and the opportunity to create something, then the output is boundless.

One of those perspectives will get you killed, although in some societies, suicide is an honourable death. In this one, it isn't.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

If Anyone Out There Actually Reads This Crap...

If you do, then check out the cool "subtitle" I put under the main page title. It changes randomly.

Hit refresh a few times, collect them all!

Mozart and Beethoven

People call Mozart the greatest composer in history. I agree, he's got a fine discography (or should I say, symphonconcertoperography... :snort:), but a lot of it is pleasant. Pleasant music is boring. Beethoven's 9th is not boring.

In fact, if you took Mozart and Beethoven, and put their music in a room together, just by epic principle, Mozart's music would get the shit beaten out of it.

Also, address this. Mozart drank himself to death. Beethoven went deaf and kept writing music till his death. Who is really the hardcore one?

It's a tough comparison really, but Beethoven has the edge over Mozart any day. It really comes down to their images:

Beethoven looks like he's about to kick someone in the balls... that is, before he rips their skeleton out of their mouth. Mozart just looks like a Vienna sausage fatty motherfucker.

Beethoven just kicks everyones ass, all around the table. I think I'll bring him back from the dead to kick your ass... if you don't believe me.

Above the Influence... Ugh

I really hate this "Above the influence" campaign; it's laughable.

Take, for instance, the fact that being above or under the influence of something is relative. After all, you are "above the influence" of reality when "high." Who created the term "under" the influence anyway? It's far too relative.

In addition, all the people involved in these things just look like assholes. They're ABOVE the influence. They are HIGH AND MIGHTY MOTHER FUCKERS. Everyone else is under them. We're all very small because they're above us because we are the influence. We are bad.


I am under.


I am an insignificant piece of shit.


I am worthless.

Ignore crap ad campaigns except when making fun of them.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Commas and "Ands"

The other day, I complained about people who don't use commas between the last two items of a list.

Here's a real life example:
Any further distribution, resale or broadcasting are prohibited.

"Resale" and "broadcasting" are both types of distribution. After reading the word "distribution," one may expect for "resale or broadcasting" to be an appositive describing "distribution."

(Continues grumbling.)

Friday, April 14, 2006


Johnny: dude that was massive boring
Ich: the lines are cool
Johnny: i'd rather flush myself down a toilet and be like "you da man now dog"
Ich: aw man
Ich: I spent like, an hour and a half drawing all those lines
Johnny: hahaha

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Compiler Error: Brain Meltdown

Dan: MY FACE != NAIL GUN... although I wish it did
Dan: perhaps you meant:
you.face = nailGun(you.face);
Ryan: :-X (refuses to even try an comprehend)
Dan: well, NAIL GUN = MY FACE makes no sense because MY FACE is not of type NAIL GUN
Dan: but, a nail gun could be applied to my face and, assuming my face is a function, is represented by nailGun(my.face);
Ryan: stop
Dan: NAIL GUN = MY FACE would create a compiler error
Ryan: you just gave me a fucking Nose Bleed dick
Ryan: lol
Dan: cool

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Short Guy

Johnny: haha there was a man that was only 22 inches tall from india
Ich: Shit, that's like... a third of my dick

People, Things, and Armies

Most people like to take pictures of other people. They take pictures of their family and friends in front of things, but the family and friends are always there.

I like taking pictures of things. People don't interest me as much as the things they stand before.

Armies are interesting. They consist of people, but the people in them have been nullified and become a thing. The more hunanity an army has, the more inferior it is.

Politicians are possibly people. They have nullified their personality and are like statues. They might be things.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Department of Homeland Security

I realized the other day that the "Department of Homeland Security" just sounds like a typical fascist law enforcement agency. They'll be knocking down your doors and shooting un-patriots in the streets.

Don't you agree? If you don't, I'll let them know...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Mathematicians Need to Learn to Teach

Many mathematical processes are nothing but simple processes made complicated. These more complex processes are shorter and simplified but, without understanding of how they were derived, impossible to remember. If the processes were taught as simple processes, repeated in different ways for specific scenarios, math would be much easier to understand.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Commas and "Ands"

I was taught in the 2nd grade that a list has a comma between all items, even if there is an "and" between two of them. For example:

Sue Thompson, Jane, Dick Hall, and I went to the store to buy some condoms to have an orgy.

The comma between Dick and I clarifies that "Dick" is an independent item from "I." Each comma sets up the next item in the list, visibly separating each of them. Removing the comma between the last two items renders:

Sue Thompson, Jane, Dick Hall and I

The absence of the comma eliminates a visible barrier between "Dick Hall and I" and makes dividing the two items difficult.

People argue in favor of dropping the last comma because the commas in the list supposedly represent little "ands." This is total bullshit. The commas act as a divider between items, represented in spoken language with short pauses. It is completely incorrect to say:

Sue Thompson and Jane and Dick Hall and I

Now, the real trouble comes in when you have associated items. For example, consider this list:

Joe and Tina, Greg and Sophie, Greg, and Lisa

Because of the formatting of this list, it is obvious that "Joe and Tina" and "Greg and Sophie" have some distinct binding relationship--it is expected that they some how remain together and are each considered as one item in the list. Now, consider without the comma:

Joe and Tina, Greg and Sophie, Greg and Lisa

In this case, it is impossible to differentiate that Greg and Lisa are, in fact, not a single item, thereby destroying the meaning of the entire phrase.

The commas in lists are important. Dropping the comma before the conjunction of a list is confusing, ignorant, and irritating as hell. Putting a comma should be the rule, but until someone has the balls to lay to the righteous way, the English language will be shrouded in ambiguity.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


I recently watched a video on Google Video: "God Hates Enablers of Sodomy." I sent them this message:


I recently watched your satirical film "God Hates Enablers of Sodomy." It's hillarious!

Thanks for producing it,
Pope Dan Simonson, Emperor of the Moon and Western Mars, Keeper of the Sacred Chao

We'll see what kind of response I get...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Using Conflict

When a conflict exists and an external conflict needs to be solved, it would be best to get both sides of the initial conflict in agreement on the external issue before the external conflict is brought to light. This prevents conflict on the external issue, as the dividing lines of the primary issue can be used to cloak the external.

If this tactic fails, then the division of the external conflict can be amplified to such extremes that the external conflict triggers a war that destroys the undesired side, justifiably.