Friday, December 09, 2005

Manassas City Public Schools - Comprehensive Plan of Failure 2006-20012

While checking to see if the School Board morons were going to let us out of school today/tommorow, I stumbled upon the Manassas City Public Schools Comprehensive Plan 06-12 (http://www.manassas.k12.va.us/Comprehensive%20Plan%202006-2012.pdf). What I found inside was laughably impossible to achieve and naive to call realistic. The plan is awful.

Section I, School Board Objectives, sets off the stupidity. Section I is divided into three parts, and each of these parts declares that "100% of the students in Manassas City Public Schools will..." followed by something that cannot be done, such as force them to pass standardized tests. 100% of students cannot fufill any requirement because some will simply choose not to, even get 100% of our students to live and breathe. Statistically, at least 1 student must die on occasion, and he or she cannot pass standardized tests. Therefore, their goal is impossible.

Strategy 1 - ERADICATE DISPARITY
What evil rhetoric!

Strategy 2 - CELEBRATING OUR COMMON HUMANITY
I'd celebrate the school board's humanity if they let us out of school tommorow. If they don't, I'm convinced they're robots, and therefore not humans. I will smash them to pieces.

Strategy 3 - ENSURE THE HIGHEST QUALIY EMPLOYEES
This means they want to fire teachers.

Strategy 4 - ENSURE SAFE AND SECURE FACILITIES TO PROVIDE AN EFFECTIVE LEARNING ENVIRONMENT
So far, they've provided effective harbor for orgies in the auditorium. Damn good job.

Strategy 5 - ENSURE STUDENT SUCCESS
Investing in student success is like investing in Seaborgium--radioactive decay will destroy your investments in fractions of seconds.

Strategy 6 - "ENSURE VITAL AND ACTIVE PARTNERSHIPS WILL ENSURE VITAL AND ACTIVE PARTNERSHIPS"
Wow.

OMFG 215 pages of this bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 FUCK THIS. What kind of idiot uses "ensure" in every header? These people run our schools? They don't even know how to write! MCPS school board, go blow a goat. By writing this recycling bin fodder, you make no one happy. If you blew a goat, you'd make the goat happy. Go make a goat happy. Think of the goats.

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