Saturday, September 24, 2005

Why I Will NEVER Join the Navy

A while back, I marked the U.S. Navy as a source of spam. I checked my spam folder, and, out of curiousity, read over their offer to pay for my college. Contained was this paragraph:

Cash for college. All-out pursuit of your personal best.
Tuition...it's just the start. Picture yourself going to a top school. Living the ultimate college dream. Developing your incredible leadership potential. Taking your education far beyond book knowledge. Then, higher degree in hand, moving on to the next exciting challenge: your real-world adventure.

THERE ARE TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES IN THAT ENTIRE PARAGRAPH. The rest of the paragraph is fucking sentence fragments!

There' s no way I would ever join any military where the recruiters are too uneducated to use proper grammar. If you don't know what a sentence fragment is, YOU PROBABLY DROPPED OUT OF THE 4TH FUCKING GRADE, let alone high school.

A piece of advice to our illiterate navy: if you want to recruit the world's brightest minds, learn how to write first. Then, don't come talk to me, because I could careless who the fuck you want to blow up next week, I'm not helping American imperialism deficate on planet Earth.

BTW, there is a way to syntactically fix that paragraph, but I'm not going to tell them/you. Why not? Because I want to see how many teams of dipshits* they have to pass through the chain of command, reorganize, and deploy in Iraq to fix a simple grammarical error.

*I hear this happens a lot in the Navy, otherwise I would have called them douche bags.

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