Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I Claim Sexual Oppression!

Why do women always bitch about "man" being used in place of "the entire human race?" They say it excludes women. On the contrary, that makes me feel crappy because that makes the term that identifies me generic. Women is just men with a wo- on the front, that's very insulting. If we're so different that the simple term "man" offends you, then I'm bitter that you just stuck wo- on front of man and called it different. You neglect the man in you, and that makes me mad.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Why I Will NEVER Join the Navy

A while back, I marked the U.S. Navy as a source of spam. I checked my spam folder, and, out of curiousity, read over their offer to pay for my college. Contained was this paragraph:

Cash for college. All-out pursuit of your personal best.
Tuition...it's just the start. Picture yourself going to a top school. Living the ultimate college dream. Developing your incredible leadership potential. Taking your education far beyond book knowledge. Then, higher degree in hand, moving on to the next exciting challenge: your real-world adventure.

THERE ARE TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES IN THAT ENTIRE PARAGRAPH. The rest of the paragraph is fucking sentence fragments!

There' s no way I would ever join any military where the recruiters are too uneducated to use proper grammar. If you don't know what a sentence fragment is, YOU PROBABLY DROPPED OUT OF THE 4TH FUCKING GRADE, let alone high school.

A piece of advice to our illiterate navy: if you want to recruit the world's brightest minds, learn how to write first. Then, don't come talk to me, because I could careless who the fuck you want to blow up next week, I'm not helping American imperialism deficate on planet Earth.

BTW, there is a way to syntactically fix that paragraph, but I'm not going to tell them/you. Why not? Because I want to see how many teams of dipshits* they have to pass through the chain of command, reorganize, and deploy in Iraq to fix a simple grammarical error.

*I hear this happens a lot in the Navy, otherwise I would have called them douche bags.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Calculus

If you're grumbling about how much you hate math in Calculus, you shouldn't be there.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Meus Computator - Meus Deus

Our lord who art in heaven - O computer in my room
Hallowed be thy name - Holy is thy name: Megatron
Thy kingdom come - My ideas unleashed into reality
Thy will be done - You do what I tell you to
On Earth as it is in heaven - Bring to Earth what exists in my mind
Give us this day our daily bread - And help me make some cash on the way
And forgive us our trespasses - I'm sorry I slammed my fist against the keyboard
And forgive those who trespass against us - But thanks for rebooting
And lead us not into temptation - Don't let me be unproductive and play Half-Life 2
but deliver us from evil - Let me be productive and do my homework
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever - For you are the spawn of my imagination, 2.79 gHz, and have a 21" monitor
Amen - So fucking be it

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Oops, We Forgot Rosalind Franklin!

Watson and Crick got a lot of heat a little while back because Roasalind Franklin, a woman, was not included as a critical part of their research. She obtained sharp X-Ray diffraction images of DNA, important for finding its chemical structure. Still though, she was not part of their team, so she ought not recieve credit as part of the "Watson and Crick." That's like giving credit for relativity to the guy who discovered the speed of light.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Stupid Jackasses

Sometimes, I talk a lot about something that interests me, like Peak Oil. I talk about that a lot. It's one of the few things I talk about. Things like that go through my head all the time, and the only reason I talk about it is because that's what I do, I think about that kind of stuff.

Often, when others present an idea in a similar idea in a similar matter, it's boring as hell. Why can't they see from their boring responses to what I say that they bore me when they respond in the same manner?

Wasn't that a long sentence?

Generation Yahoo

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/10/01/60minutes/main646890.shtml

I hate all of them.

Pseudo-perfect fuckbags who wear cool sunglasses too dark to see the boulder in front of their face.

Growing up is going to be great. I'm going to love to watch the jackass retards I grew up with fail in life. Their parents held them up to stand before their time, and now, without their parents, they can't stand at all. I have watched their minds die, or never grow at that, and I can't wait for the day where all the soccer children flop over, dead, because they can't deliver any product that does not produce immediate gratification.

My piers, these idiots are.

I don't feel like one of them. I think I was raised more as a "Generation Xer" than one of these ambitious carbon copies of perfection. It won't be long until their attempts at lives of glory will fail, and they will slide into a world where success is in survival, not a green participation ribbon.

Participation ribbons... I remember those from the Science Fair in elementary school. I never really saw much value in those things, everyone got one, so it meant nothing. Infact, the recognized are always the liars, the fakes, the ones who had their parents do it for them. The legits will emerge when the fakes have to stand on their own.

My girlfriend and I aren't like them. Her brother's not like them. Our friends aren't like them. If you fit in the system, you'll sink with it.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Vanna White in 20 Years

"Yea, I'd like an 'X.'"

Vanna slowly hobbles over to the letter. Her sagging tits sway out of her once attractive dress. Now, it is a souce of frequent vomiting on the case of the young and the sane.

Pat Sajak (or whatever the fuck the host's name is) is dead, so the new host says, "We'll be back after Vanna reaches the letter."

Laziness: The Ultimate Weightloss Plan

I'm not fat. I don't work out. How do I do it? I sit on my ass all day.

This may surprise the average person. Corprate marketing executives know how it works, but they won't tell you because they want you to buy the Gazelle.

Here's the trick: be too lazy to get food. I'm pretty hungry right now, but instead of walking all the way downstairs, I'm planting my ass firmly in this chair.

I do get some exercise; I walk home everyday. You know why? I'm too damn lazy to get my driver's license.

I'm too damn lazy too write any more. I'm gonna go play Privateer instead of doing my homework.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Democracy?

If every man and woman does not have a say in government, at the highest level, then it is no longer a Democracy, but an Elect Oligarchy. Debate should take place in the streets, not in the Senate.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Skool

It's not stress; it's a nice buzz.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

IMHO

If your opinion is humble, it's not worth hearing.

Arx

Arx is an awesome word.

"Ar" is the wind up. It prepares for the final strike, the "x." The "x" kicks you right in the balls, and says "fuck you." However, without the "ar" to prepare for it, it has no strength.

Extroverts and Introverts

I was considering the ideal societies of Marx and Rand in the context on intro and extroverts. (http://www.learningplaceonline.com/relationships/friends/caring-introvert.htm)

Rand created a society ideal for introverts: isolation from other people except where necessary, self-dependence, and no need for other humans.

Rand failed, however, with a poor choice of vocabulary, as she called introverts "selfish" people. An introvert is merely a person who energizes away from contact with other people; a selfish person just desires things for their own good. Selfish people would not, necessarily, flourish in her ideal society.

Marx's society was ideal for extroverts, people who need to communicate with others to be happy. Extroverts tend to be less creative, and since Marxism frowns upon invention, things work out for them.

Introverts are scientists, artists, and inventors. They promote progress. Extroverts are businessmen, politicians, soliders, and laborers. They allow for the propagation of progress, but at times their nature denies it for more conservative ideas.

Marx and Rand's societies fail because they do not rely on the intro/extrovert dependence. Ayn Rand's Objectivism would most definetly fail, as, without extroverts, the creations of introverts could not be propagated into permanence. Marx's Communism is slightly more feasible, although it would require the termination of introverts in order to avoid progress.

Communism would succeed over Objectivism because 75% of the population is extroverted, which means there ought to be a lean towards Communism.

Rand had picked up on the intro/extroverted differences, except she called them selfish and selflfess. A better choice of words would make her theroy make more sense (and be more excepted).

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Oh noes: The Negative Effects of Blues Clues

This morning, my nephew came in to let me know that,

"DANIEL, DANIEL, THERE'S A FLY IN MY ROOM, AND IT HAS WINGS, AND IT FLYS, AND IT BUTTS."

He sounded exactly like our friend Steve from Blue's Clues. Exactly. Now everything is an event. Everything is a CLUE, and it's important, and you're special.

Carmen aut Modo?

Does the "explicit lyrics" of a song really matter?

If someone is screaming words, does it matter if they're about Jesus or sodomy? If they're screaming, it's still violent in sound. Does the context of the lyrics delivered matter than the lyrics themselves?

Priorities

A large mass of starving people in a flooded, disease ridden, former city suffer.

Another convoy gets ambushed in Iraq.

And what am I doing?
I do feel like an American asshole.
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