Wednesday, August 31, 2005


If the amount of matter in the universe is constant, then the amount of gravity is constant. Therefore, if it were constant, there would have been enough gravity to hold the universe together and big banging.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Jibbles and Puebles

You ought to get a kick out of this. I cut some stuff out it to improve the flow, names removed, etc.

Mich: words should be made up more often
Mich: like jibbles and puebles
Eine Frau: i make up words all the time
Eine Frau: my friend (name snipped) and i
Eine Frau: ahh.. the fine art of wordicising
Eine Frau: *making up words*
Mich: that's a nice irony :-D
Eine Frau: hehe
Mich: jibbles and puebles are crystal meth and child porn, I was writing a story and I needed words for both that the average reader wouldn't notice what I was talking about
Mich: not that I go into detail about those things
Eine Frau signed off at 10:42:20 PM.

Shit. Shit shit shit.





Now that you've adjusted your TV volume for my LOUD ASS COMMERCIAL, everything's going to be far too fucking quiet, so you'll have to mess with the remote again to hear a damn thing.


Music and Grades

I've heard a lot of bitching in my time about how "music students have higher test scores than non-music students." Perhaps this is true, but it implies that it is a result of their involvement in music, which is poor logic. It is more likely that students who have higher test scores take music classes.

I had a choice in 9th grade. I could have taken either Computer Science I or Orchestra. I enrolled in Computer Science and dropped Orchestra. I do not regret dropping Orchestra. In more ways than Orchestra could ever possibly help, I have improved my math skills significantly, not in the actual computation of numbers, but in the abstract concepts of mathematics. Orchestra may some how, supposedly, increased my intelligence, but I think Computer Science did a much better job of that in a more applicable way.

I'm not saying don't take music classes, but don't mislead people into taking them.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Cats and Dogs: Why "Cats" Comes First

Everyone who owns a dog seems to feel the need to prove dogs superiority to cats. They say that dogs have better noses, are bigger than, have better vision, hear better, etc.

Who cares?

Dogs suck because they smell bad, bark frequently, and you have to pick up their shit when their finished. I don't see how that is superior in any way.

I just had to fight with my cat to let me write this article. I told him that he better get ready to move, and he just purred. He heard the light, though sarcastic, mood. I tried petting him, however, and he merely shot a "If you touch me I'm gonna bite your ass, but you better let me sit here still" look. When I put him down, I could tell he became even more pissed off because he let out some stress on a highlighter.


Since there is math and science for liberal arts majors, why isn't there liberal arts for science and math majors?

21 inches

My new computer has a 21 inch monitor.

It's like flying.

I can see everything from here. Because this monitor is so big, I can watch in four dimensions. I can see my own death in future; I can watch the greatest battles in history.


My English professor said no written work is ever finished, merely abandoned.

Blogs are just places where people abandon a lot of writing really fast.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Emperor of the Moon Visits UVa

One of my friends was heading down to Charlottesville to visit UVa, and since I am extremely interested in attending I came along.

I like the campus. I like the architecture. I like the trees. I like the philosophy Thomas Jefferson built into the place.

I hate the students. I swear, over 60% of the students I saw were wearing Polo shirts. However, I doubt I'll ever escape such humans in any decent place of higher education, so I'll have to learn to wear pieces of black glass over my eyes all the time so I can pretend they don't exist.

Monday, August 22, 2005

The Great Purge

My new computer just let me know that, while typing in my password for Blogger, I was sending unencrypted information to a third party.

Oh, like I didn't know that you dumbshit.

I've got it figured out. I don't hate computers; I love computers. I hate people who use computers. People who use computers make programmers program stupid software for them so stupid people can use it. I hate those programmers because they are whores for stupid people, and that makes them extra stupid.

User-friendly is for pussies and people who like spending money on useless garbage, like the "Microsoft Plus! Dancer LE" that came installed on my computer. Why do I want a blue screened video of someone dancing on top of my start bar? What does that do except eat up memory? It's not that I'm short on memory, but I could be using it for far better things, like Battle Grounds 2, the only Revolutionary War mod for Half-Life 1 & 2.

And then there was Norton Internet Insecurity. It came with my computer.

Norton was kind enough to let me know that there were two rampant threats pillaging the internet and all it's fellow peasants like me, and that if I clicked to allow it to save me from the internet's worst beasts, I would be safe.

Norton Internet Insecurity protected me from my own printers.

Norton Internet Insecurity was uninstalled.

I do not like software telling me what to do. I do not like "VERY RECOMMENDED" recommendations. I do not like my operating system telling me that my wireless network adapter is potentially dangerous 8 times while installing it (so severe a problem that Netgear sent a flyer with the adapter to let me know that it's ok to click continue).

Fuck Norton. Fuck Microsoft. I'm making my old compy into a Linux box so I can play with it/learn to use it from there. I might put it on this one depending on how well the port goes. I guess I'll see.

Time to go destroy free crap. Time to clear out the barbarians, and make this place safe to live. This is my computer, and Norton cannot stop me from using it.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Oil and Gas Prices: Quit Bitching

The whining and bickering about price being up to $2.75 a gallon (higher and lower in different places, that's a non-scientific estimate) is ridiculous. Gas has been cheaper than water for far too long and is far to precious a resource for us to have squandered it so quickly for so long. Gas is cheap right now, wait till we start really running out. This is a handy link and contains a lot of information that makes the direness of our situation clear. We're fucked.

"Surprisingly from the most pessimistic to the most optimistic, there was not much deviation in what the estimate is as to what the known reserves are out there. It is about 1,000 gigabarrels. That sounds like an awful lot of oil. But when you divide into that the amount of oil which we use, about 20 million barrels a day, and the amount of oil the rest of the world uses, about 60 million barrels a day, as a matter of fact, the total now is a bit over the 80 million that those two add up to. About 83 1/2 , I think. If you divide that into the 1,000 gigabarrels, you come out at about 40 years of oil remaining in the world."

There is about 40 years of oil left in the world according to simple arithmetic, not factoring in the increase in demand overtime by developing countries and population growth.

It's not just cars that will suffer either from this price jab. The whole economy will be impacted. Everything that depends on some product of fossil fuels to run, be produced, and be shipped will suffer some increase in price.

For example, let's use Megaloc Elgoblocs. Assume that one barrel of oil produces one crate of Megaloc Elgobloc. Elgoblocs are made in Sweden, so shipping is a long distance. Let's assume that it is 100 barrels of oil worth of travel, and there are 10 crates on a cargo vessel. Each crate of Megaloc Elgoblocs contains 50 packages of blocs.
b = price of 1 barrel of oil
P = price of a package of Elgoblocs

P = (101b)/(50*10)

If b = $40 then the price of a box of Elgoblocs = $8.08. The record high for the price of oil, $67 a barrel (a few days ago), would make the price of a box of Elgoblocs $13.53. That's a significant difference.

Also, remember that the Elgobloc plant has workers, as well as people who drive the ship and stock the shelves at the store that sells Elgoblocs. These people have to buy Elgoblocs as well as other products that have an increase in base price due to the change of price of oil. Therefore, if I had factored it into the equation, the price of Elgoblocs would go up. The equation has become recursive. All of these minor factors are what really add up to create a nasty ripple effect and bad inflation.

Eventually, people will barely have enough money for Elgoblocs, putting those workers out of jobs. Because they don't have jobs, there's less money in the market to buy other products, continuing the wave of debt.

Yay! Economic depression! That's worse than emo depression. Not only does your life suck, but you can't whine at Starbucks about it. You have to whine on a street corner or an unemployment office.

Monday, August 15, 2005

I won a PSP

I entered the code from a box of fries and I won. Plus, I only had one box of fries from McDonalds while this contest was running. Weird huh? I never win these kinds of things. I will probably never win again.

Yea, so I got an e-mail from McDonalds. There's some wonderfully confusing instructions and quite disturbing mumbo jumbo. Let's check this out.

There's a whole bunch of things I have to sign to claim my prize... I'll guide you through my thoughts.

Statement 1 (somewhere in):
"I obtained my potential winning Game Stamp(s) through authorized, legitimate
channels, and I have perpetrated no fraud or deception in connection with my
participation in the Game. "
I guess this is in refrence to the fraud that occured a few years back.

"I agree to return to McDonald's Corporation ("McDonald's") any prize, which may be awarded to me if any statement made by me in this Affidavit is false."
So, if they feel like it, they can just take it away from me? Barge in my house and steal my PSP? What if I sold it? or gave it away? What will they do then, hmm?

Statement 5:
"McDonald's, TMSW, and their successors, assigns and promotional
partner licensees ("Promotion Entities") shall have the right, but not the
obligation, to use my name, voice, and likeness, along with my address (city and
state) and any statements made by or attributed to me relating to McDonald's or
the Game in any and all media, now known or hereafter devised,"

"in perpetuity and throughout the universe for advertising, marketing, publicity and promotional purposes in connection with the Game and other McDonald's promotions"
Wow! This is hardcore. It's like... joining the Scientologist navy... except in Scientology, you only sign up for a billion years. This is "in perpetuity." Goddamn.

Statement 8:
" I hereby acknowledge and agree that McDonald's and/or its authorized agent or designee may conduct a full background check on me, as set forth in the Official Rules."
Whoa, wtf.

"Should I meet the eligibility requirements set forth in the Official Rules for the Game and otherwise fully
and timely comply therewith, the results of my background check will not affect
whether I receive the prize I am seeking to claim."
Doesn't that contradict itself? So as long as your background check passes, it won't be used against you. But if it doesn't pass, it has been used against you anyway. Hypocrites.

Anyway, legal crap sucks. I still won a PSP, though.

Serious People

If anyone is too serious about anything, someone's going to get hurt. Seriously people seriously suck.

Serious people all share a few characteristics: (1) they will never shut up or go away until you agree with them, (2) they actually care that you agree with them because (3) they think they are right and everyone else who disagrees is wrong, (4) and they are always part of some group. Always. (5)They never thought of the idea on their own.

Religious folks:

These people are obessesed with their religion, be it Islam, Christianity, or Buddhism. Most of the time they have "dedicated their life in service." They can range from Jehovah's Whitnesses bothering you about how you should be painting for Jesus and not to make your house look decent (I seriously remember my parents telling me to hide from these people when I was little, as in, duck and cover), to people running airplanes into buildings. Sometimes, people inspired to create something will use their "religious devotions" as an excuse because they can manipulate a large group of people into building their creation. (Pyramids, temples, cathedrals, etc.)


They have seriously important information to tell you about life, liberty, politicans, and pants. They are very important, because everyone reads their blog, and everything they say counts. They're almost as bad as religious folks, but not quite off the edge. Just remember though, their opinions are serious, and you have to listen to them. They worship each other. It's fun.... I guess.

People Driving:

These people are serious and stupid. They're probally talking on a cell phone, or the car next to them is, and they go ballistic, piss their pants, and kill people because of road rage. Stay away from people driving; buy a helicopter.


Pants are far too serious. Period.

Well, those are all I could think of. I might add more later... but I never do.
BTW, first illustrated article. Wow, I'm cool.

Frequent Cause of Wordiness

A lot of essays end up with crappy sentences. For example:
"Perhaps, if he had not defeated Bosrot, he will not be destroyed in chapter 7."

It's wordy because the contractions were uncontracted. Let's contract it and see what happens:
"Perhaps, if he hadn't defeated Bosrot, he wouldn't be destroyed in chapter 7."

Smoother? It's because contractions are how we speak. Instead of changing our writing form to how it would sound better written, we merely uncontract and pretend we fixed the problem. Should've left them there, pansy ass.

Friday, August 12, 2005

The Importance of the Carriage Return

The carriage return is more powerful than you can ever imagine.


See that "ever" hanging there? It stands alone, it's bold. The statement is not included in a mass of information, one coercive unit, like this one. It falls down like a cold hard axe, reinforcing the statement before.

Anyone who ever underestimates the power of carriage returns is a fucking dumbass.

By adding space there, it places emphasis on that single sentence. It gives it strength; the space around it, in a way, gives it room to echo. Because this is a statement, unlike the "ever" previously sampled, it shoots an idea directly into the readers head; it says "THIS IS TRUE. FUCK YOU."

Occasionally though, carriage returns are abused.

Overuse results in a drop in additional stimulus response.

This is carriage return diarrhea.

Or vomit.

Not abuse any more.

It's abused beyond abuse.

Like how just abused the verb "to abuse."

Thankfully, Latin has a word for abusing words: maledicere, which literally means "to speak badly."

Regretfully, Latin does not have a word for abusing carriage returns.

This article just turned into crap, because I failed to recognize the importance of the carriage return and inevitably abused it. Et maledico quod maledicere "abuse."

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Die You Money Sucking Cheating Pig Bags

I've recently read a lot about how people try and manipulate Google's search algorithms to create higher placement (PageRank) in Google searches.


The purpose of a seach engine is to help people find things. If you manipulate the search engine, you're not helping people find things. You're helping them find something else they don't want to buy. You're vandalizing their "internet experience." No, it's not illegal to ruin people's day. You can do whatever you want on the internet, but you're still a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

When people look for something, they'll find it. Their goal is not to find your website, unless it is relevant. I doubt PageRank has enough to do with Google to really count.

Actually, I want to see the day when Google sets the Toolbar PageRank numbers to random. That's going to be fucking hillarious.

Pompous Ass: "Why'd my PageRank to zero? Oh, Google, whatever did I do to hurt you? :tear: :suicide:"

I don't see how ads make money. I never, ever click on ads. Does anyone ever click on ads? My eyes just graze over them towards the half inch of text in the middle of the page. Not that I can find the website's navigation buttons between the ad for weightloss pills and my next vacation.

Fuck the internet; it was a bad idea.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Fucking Sell-outs

I know someone has probably already written about this. Shoot me.

Everything, in regard to it's popularity, has a rise and fall.
1. Nova - The website/band/company/shitbag/whatever is created, and it is spat out with whatever idea inspired its creation. A few people stumble upon this and like it. The idea was probably thought of without intention for an audience to read or hear or see; it was merely there.

2. Boom - This awesome whatever is spread about by word of mouth. Content may or may not continue to be produced.

3. Peak - Traffic picks up on a massive scale. The author begins to write articles for his or her audience instead of by mere musings.
+ Also, at this point in time, spin-off websites begin to pop-up that try and mimic the format of the popular website. They have nothing good to write and only write for their audience. The product is exceptionally horrible crap; they don't even have the true feeling of the original idea that spawned this whole fiasco.

4. Sell-outs - Traffic increases, but a lot of the original traffic begins to leave. They claim the author has "sold out" and is producing crap. This is probably true, since the new content is designed for the audience and not out of the author's true creative vats.

5. Burn-out - Traffic begins to dwindle, as newer viewers/readers only see the crap behind the website, and not the quality content. Old readers/viewers become bored with the website too, and the whole mess begins to fade. Our hero has to get a McJob now as step off his soap box. The original readers/viewers/listeners will look back in nostalgia; the later audience will forget it existed.

This was in the sense of web blogs, which I despise even though I write one, but can be applied to music, art, periodicals, whatever. Look closer next time. You will know that I am right.

In one aspect, patterns like this are so frequent, that it practically makes the study of history inane. Since the same thing happens over and over again in different ages surrounding different things, there's no need to ask what happened; whatever was destroyed became less popular and no one gave a shit any more. When people resist this pattern, it starts wars and nasty things. And it sucks.

Anyway, for further reading, I read these articles lately, and more than likely this whole article is just my interpretation of those works and my brain sorting them out. Maybe I added something to the whole mess, I dunno. - This one is about the ever repeating patterns in generations throughout history. Very long, but once you get to the innards of it, it's quite scrumptious. - This one is about trends of power in blogs and their popularity. It talks about the system as a whole, as opposed to over time (incase anyone wants to think I plagarized).

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Renaissance Scientists

We often speak of how Renaissance scientists got stuff correct. What about when they got stuff wrong? No body ever mentions luminiferous aether anymore, and what a big fuck up that was.

Objectivism and Communism: Failures for the Same Reason

Communism and objectivism are both derived from pure reasoning, neither system is based on intensive research and experimentation. Because they are merely the brain children of philosophers, they are imperfect and untested, like the physics model of Aristotle. They make sense but just don't work.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Numeric Patterns

We see certain patterns in numbers due to our base 10 number system. If we looked at all numbers, say, in base 6, binary, or hex, the patterns would be significantly different.

For example, the numbers 1000, 2000, and 3000, all fit a simple pattern, right? A ten year old could figure out the difference between each number in the pattern is 1000. Let's convert these numbers into hex:
They are in no way the same pattern. The difference is still the same (3E8 in hex), but it's just not special any more.
Imagine how different things would be with a different number system. I mean, you might only have "10 minutes" on your break still, but in decimal, that's 16. We pick numbers like 10, 15, 5 all because they're evenly rounded in our number system, but in hex you'd be much more likely to pick 10, 18, 8, etc., which are 16, 24, and 8 in decimal.

24 probally does sound more familiar to you; it's the number of hours in a day. The number 24 was chosen because our calendar was invented by people with a base 6 number system. 24 in base 6 is 40. Same with 360 degrees being the basis of geometry (thank God radians came around), the people who created it based it upon their number system, and therefore, it's somewhat awkward in our system.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


A postal worker cracked open some of the Pope's mail and found this:

Sup mah catholic Gangsta!

Shit fool, we need to hang out in shit sometime. We can pray, then drink some fucking wine and shit and have one bad ass fucking party man. There's God, but we're fucking romans and shit here man, we really do what we fuckin' want, fool.