Friday, May 27, 2005

Phishing - did you fall for it because you were retarded or drunk?

"Phish" stands for:

Seriously, who the fuck is stupid enough to fall for a phish attack? At least one by e-mail or IM? I've known since I was in 2nd grade that you don't give out your username and password.

Phishing's been around forever. Rampage Toolz 2.0 had a built in phisher. Now, phishing gets massive press coverage, as if this is a new phenomenon, just like blogging.

8 fucking years behind. Dumbasses. Get your facts straight.

That and they talk about how violent video games are. "Oh no, someone blew a zombie's head off! According to Reverend Brandham Smith, Christian Psychologist, children will plant the same behaviors the exibit in games on people! Quick, save our children! Save them from video games!"

You want a real psychological test? Cut out your theoretical bullshit and look at the facts. Look at me. The first video game I got hooked on was Doom when I was in 2nd grade (yes, around the same time I learned not to fall for some shitbag trying to steal my password), and look at me, am I violent? If I'm pushed to be violent, I may end up reacting so, but doesn't anybody? Buddhist monks are men of peace, yet there are points in history where they started violent uprisings.

I doubt the Greeks and Romans learned "hmm, these people make us mad. let's kill them" from video games. What about animals? Animals kill each other, they must have SNESes hidden somewhere so they can learn how to kill each other by playing Mortal Kombat.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Jesus Revisited

Jesus described death as a second birth or a second death, towards heaven or towards hell.

Although he is quoted saying this, I think he actually think he meant the same place, with heaven and hell merely being mindsets. Death is one place that all people go to, but the heaven and hell aspects are whether or not you benefit from death.

If you "go to heaven," you are in an inherently poor position in life. Your status improves by dying because living was difficult, and you are now free of your burdens. You relax. Your life was hell, now you are in peace.

If you "go to hell." you are in an inherently good position in life. When you die, you lose more than you gain. You already had little to no burdens, and now you live in a place without all of the material things to which you were attached. Your mind is forever starving for the things you lost.

This is the same thing people believed in the middle ages. The feudal system was supported by the idea that life sucked, period, and that death was your escape. This is the same idea. A good life is one of misery; otherwise, you end up in hell.

Rape and Redemption

One of the articles I'm publishing in the school newspaper is getting raped and misbred with another article into some kind of beast. It will have a horn on it's left ass cheek and no symetry or balance, and it will be a horrible thing to read. Here's the original article:

You look great.

You are as wrinkled as a brown bag, you don't have breasts, and you look 80 years old at age 30. But you are HOT. You are TAN.

Tanning is suicide. It is a life-long, honorable suicide. Look good and kill yourself at the same time; that's even better than buying a new car and getting free toaster with it. If you want to look great for 10 years and spend the rest of your life as a raisin, go for it, absorb ultraviolet rays and cook under the infernal sun.

I can be pretty sure life as a raisin sucks. You'll be living as the baked remnant of an organism. Not before long, tumors will start to grow out of your forehead like horns, and then you will die of cancer at age 40. Good job, sexy beast.

Since when has tan skin been attractive? It's a very recent phenomenon. For the last 7000 years, fair skin has been considered way more attractive than a “healthy tan.” Why is this? The same reason fat people were considered attractive. Both traits were rare and only the rich could afford them. Only the rich could afford to buy enough food to make them fat, and only the rich could afford to spend all day inside doing nothing, avoiding the sun at all costs.

Ironically, now-a-days, the rich can afford to burn off the fat that is so plentiful in our world. People used to starve to death, now we die from overeating. Only the rich can afford to sit around, broil their bodies, and repair them after they’ve long burned away. Only the rich can afford Botox, breast implants, and liposuction.

Botox is a funny thing too. It's actually a short form of the phrase “botulism toxin,” i.e. the poison from the bacteria botulism. Botulism toxin is so deadly that there is enough existing on earth to kill every single human on the planet a few times over. Now, your local surgeon can inject it right into your face!

Putting poison on/into your face isn’t a new thing. Roman women used to put powdered lead on their face as makeup. The lead is poisonous, but they didn't know any better, and they didn't care. They were HOT. They were FAIR.

Sure, go ahead, kill yourself, bake yourself to beauty, put poison in your face. Life is short, eh? Well, you just made it shorter, but who cares? You're HOT, as hot as a fresh PIZZA, and you look like one too.

UPDATE: The newspaper didn't just rape my article, they burned it, spread teh ashes over 100 miles, and nuked the place. There is no article against tanning in the paper, only one supporting it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Twisty Thingy

I was in an autoparts store today, a real symbol of capitalism. It's fully of useful things stuffed in useless packages.

And in between, someone sells something useless to try and make some money, like this one thing by the cash register. It was a completely useless, circularly linked series of semi-circles that a scientist looking guy says, regarding the strange object, "It's a game! It's a puzzle!"

The object has no determinable worth, so I was suckered in to its vibrant colors and inability to be solved. It was like trying to simplify trigonometric identities by only shrinking one side, it's useless and you get nowhere. The thing just twists and twists and twists and makes the same positions over and over again for no reason or cause, and you just keep twisting and twisting forever and ever.

Then I looked at some tire pressure gauge meters. There were two types; the first was a professional looking one, slique and pen-like, and the second had a skull on the end. It reminded me of something someone told me once about selling a product: if you make a product, change something slightly or make it sound like you changed something slightly. Advertise like whatever it is is special.

His example was prescription medicine bottles. If you sell bottles, don't just sell them. Once you need to expand your customer base, make them special some how. Say they do not leech acid into the pills that are supposed to heal you. Then, everyone will think all other medicine bottles leech acid. Now you can go buy a small village somewhere.

The slique one was professional, it had a brand name on it. Brand names really mean nothing, but they pretend they mean something. By existing, a brand name creates something for itself. Brand names are trusted. Brand names are special. The skull one suckers people in. It's not different from the brand name one, but it has a skull on it, so it's cool.

And then I twisited the twisty thingy some more. Maybe if I twist it enough, I'll get somewhere. Maybe I will solve all of my problems in life. Maybe not.

Maybe I should be reading The Sound and the Fury instead of writing about doing things for no reason that lead to nowhere.

Why can't you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

An E-mail

I sent an e-mail to an automatic college spam mail.
The e-mail will bounce. No one will read it.
Words, blasted hundreds of miles as 01010101, and then they never exist ever again.
I ate your bandwith.
I made the internet slower.
I made a big, automatic, internet uberserver closer to crashing.
I made your life miserable by talking to no one.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Arr, ahoy, matey!

Arr, I'm a musikpirate! I'm going to steal, me lads, some music!

I don't download because I want the music; I download out of spite. I download because I'm a cheap ass; I download because I hate the RIAA.


People are looking for an enemy. Now, in the music industry, one has been found. They made a critical mistake in a time of dire caution.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Vitamin C: Is it really good for you?

Everything now-a-days has 100% DV vitamin C in it per serving. This juice I have on my desk has it. A bag of skittles is loaded with the stuff. One pack of Starbursts has 50% DV.

How much of this stuff can you take in? If I take in 10000% DV in one day by mistake, you know, from eating, will I die? Whose idea was it to cram acid (yes, vitamin C is a weak acid) into food?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Cool Quotes List

I plan to add more later too:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.
With bright knives He releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.
He converteth me to lamb cutlets,
For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger."
Pink Floyd - Sheep

"son of the august cow... Gilgamesh is awesome to perfection."
-From Tablet I of the Epic of Gilgamesh

"I am no man, I am dynamite."

"His favorite shoes are Keds. His favorite food, fucking corn dogs."
- Chuck Palahniuk, Choke (3)

"I think I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut-hosing orgasm."
- Chuck, Choke (19)

"That is really amazing,"[Zaphoid Beeblebrox] said. "That is really truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (32)

"'I don't want to die now!' [Arthur Dent] yelled. 'I've stille got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!'" - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (47)

"Where shall I even begin to name off the technological goodies on this tile? We have round buttons, we have square buttons, there are data ports, there are flashing lights, there’s a central monitor. This computer tile has everything but the kitchen sink." Monthly Computer (March 2004

"Mathematics is a shorthand language in which each symbol has a precise and agreed-upon meaning. Once the language is learned, we find that it is only a form of English after all." -Issac Asimov, Understanding Physics (17)

Why are politicians so full of shit? Why can't there be a congressman (congressman, yes man, tough shit to all you feminists) that just speaks his mind without the meaningless bullshit and ass kissing? Why can't they just say whatever it is they want to say, without trying to sound scholarly about it, and get to the point? Why do teachers and professors make you have a minimum limit of pages for reports? I had a history class last quarter, and the professor forced us to have at least 6 pages for every report we had to turn in. Well what if I don't have 6 pages worth to say? It forces people to write meaningless bullshit to fill in the spaces, which makes your argument much less effective. Politicians would make great teachers. They can go on and on about meaningless drivel and make their ass kissing sound like it's important." - Maddox (an older article about something, and I forgot to get the URL)

Monday, May 02, 2005

Wanna be punk?

So, you wanna be a fucking punk, eh? There's one way to do it.

See, if you want to be truly unique, you not be what everything else is. That's the same pattern of a prime number. You can't determine what a prime number is, only what it is not. A prime number is not produced by any other numbers.

All numbers come from prime numbers.

Be a punk, be prime.