Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Ad Shruburrio

To President George W. Bush, President of the United States of America.

It has come to my attention that you were recently elected as President of the United States of America, Land of the Brave and Home of the Free, God Blessed, etc. However, I must state that although you were elected with a legitimate majority decision by your constituents, there are certain reasons for which you are not the optimal cantidate for such a daunting task.

To begin, let us start with the blatantly obvious. Your economic policies are total garbage. Your administration started with the biggest surplus in the history of the United States of America, Land of the Brave and Home of the Free, God Blessed, etc. and ended up with the largest deficit in human history. How you pulled that off beats me, but I wouldn't mind learning incase I wanted to destroy the national economy of some poor country that is an enemy of mine.

One of the premier tasks of your administration is to reunify the nation, but it is notable that you are the person who caused the nation to divide in the first place! What logic is there, then, that you, the divisior, perform the reunification.

People state that you are the ideal cantidate because you were elected by a voter turnout only superceded by that in 1968. In 1968, President Nixon was elected, and if your memory or education has failed you, Nixon is known as one of the most crooked presidents of all time for attempting to bug the Democratic National Headquarters in Washington D.C. Therefore, I don't think the majority of your nation is worthy of selecting a cantidate.

Many voters in certain states that supported you were over 60. Those people will die in 18 years on average. They will not be affected, if affected at all, by the potential damage your administration does to the world in the next four years.

Please, if you wish to start a war, do it correctly. You should have done it one of two ways: democratically or imperialistically. My preference, being an emperor, is the imperialistic manner. Rally the troops, surge into battle without any prior warning to anybody and destroy everything that lies in the decimated region. Either that, or you could have followed your goverment's standard of cautiously planning and figuring out what you need to do for a clean victory. The imperialistic method isn't well excepted now-a-days, and I can't blame nations for rejecting it. It's rather cruel, after all. I don't like killing my people, at least.

It's also undeniable that you flat-out lied to your people, claiming that a threat existed that didn't. You knew it didn't. Your party critisized your challenger for being a "flip-flop." Seeing that you changed your mind about the cause for which you declared war on the poor, devastated nation of Iraq about four times, you fit into the same category.

I do have to congratulate you on successfully brainwashing about half of your nation, as I have never seen such blind, ignorant support since the days of Nazi Germany. Actually, no, Hitler was a very good leader, so those who supported him had some sort of backing in their decision. Therefore, I MUST congratulate you on successfully brainwashing a good hald of your nation, as I have never see such blind, ignorant support EVER.

So, I, the Emperor of the Moon, order for George W. Bush, President of the United States of America to resign immediately from the position of president and to surrender his position to the superior cantidate. Otherwise, Bush's former cabinet members will be subscribed to a list of genetics research involunteers where, when the time comes, they will be arrested and used for that purpose.

This message is final.

-][- Pope Dan Simonson, Emperor of the Moon, KSC -][-


Anonymous Anonymous said...

All i have to say is that i totally agree. Even though i'm not a complete aDvocate of all of the "Pope's" viEws, i Must suppOrt his blog about the inConsistency of GeoRge W. Bush's presidency. I couldn't have pin-pointed the problem of brAinwashing more precisely myself. I congradulaTe Dan of his legitmate arguementS!

Sunday, November 21, 2004 7:31:00 PM  
Blogger The Emperor of the Moon said...

Being one who agrees with what I said, I thank you. Leaving what you said to me unresponded to would be treason to my fellow pier.

Only if you had left an e-mail or contact address I could have responded directly, and we could have formed an alliance of liberty and justive for all. We could have made most excellent fellows. Maybe, we could have together created world peace!

En conclusion, try not to make your hidden messages so ridiculously obvious next time. (Turn all the "we"s into the number three, and maybe the Underworld will be revealed to the Rhine. Or maybe you will be wasting your time.)

Sunday, November 28, 2004 10:43:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home