Sunday, November 21, 2004

Cool Bible Verse

Psalms 139:8 If I ascend into heaven, You [are] there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You [are there.]

An Extension onto a proposal of Johnathan Swift

Since crazy neo-conservative goons plan on illegalizing abortion (which I feel is the most important thing to worry about in a world of disease, famine, and civil strife) is the most important solution to all the world's problems, ever, I figure it is necessary to end this run on sentence and start a new one. Maybe a new paragraph too.

After abortion is illegalized, we'll have a lot of children to spare. Since children are "our nation's most precious natural resource" (I read it off a bumper sticker the other day so I know it has to be true, valid, and, infact, it is what converted me to this most devine cause), they aren't any different from corn or trees. We eat corn, and since children are a natural resource too, I figured we should eat children too like Johnathan Swift suggested to. We'd have to modernize his ideas a little, but it will all work out.

The children left by their parents can be put into different areas. The first is for children under two. Those children will be truly eaten. They will be harvested in two ways. The first is what I like to call, in the worlds of Golem, "raw and wriggling." You get a fresh baby from the store, smash it's skull in, and cook it. Even cooler, just bite right into its head and skip the cooking process! Japanese restaurants ought to be successful selling their new "baby sushi."

The second way to harvest a child under two is the rapid growth method. This method is a little messy, but it works. First, massive, multi-story buildings are set up with miles and miles of equipment set up to sustain the babies. The babies' jaws are removed from their heads, the babies' genitalia is removed, and the baby is hooked up to a poop "toob" and a feeding "toob." The babies are pumped full of carbohydrates, fat, sterorids, amino acids, and other nutrients. Ideally, the babies will grow to a massive size and will be harvested to the poor in the region of thud.

Children over two would be used for genetics research and as slaves for corporations.

Why not illegalize abortion when all these benefits are avaliable.

A Prayer for Cool Guys

To the Great Biff-Baff
I know you don't care, but in case there is a possiblity that caring is immenent,
I wanted to let you know,:
I believe in the Great Biff-Baff,
The Infinite Paradox of Unstopable Contradictive Power,
and that the Infinite Paradox will be revealed one day and the Universe will end,
trinkets and other fun type events,
that Star Wars is false
and something about Calcutta.

Ave Biff-Baff and other type hytz!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Idea for Story

Cycersonia: Mix between victories and defeats against barbarians.

One guy wins all the time and is glorified.

Turns out that the battles were rigged. Those he won were because he was alloted to. The hero discovers the conspiracy and either reveals it successfully or is killed because he can't reveal it in time and is caught.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

When people hear that phrase, they usually panic. He's some old dead guy on the 100 dollar bill, he's gotta be really boring.

Actually, Ben Franklin's life was rather interestng. Benjamin was a mad crazy pimp, a philosopher, and scientist all in one. How much cooler can one get? Oh yea, he did some time in politics and the military too... and he was a printer.

Read teh book. It's kinda funny.

Sunday, November 14, 2004


If you haven't read that do so. Oh, yea, I tipped a bunch of newspapers on it.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Rigging an Election in C++

Here's some code for a simple, two cantidate election program in Java. I'm too lazy to include file writes.

public class Cantidate{
private int numberOfVotes;
private String name;

//generic, blank constructor
numberOfVotes = 0;
name = "Unfilled";

//Fills in the cantidate's name with that set as a parameter.
Cantidate(string newName){
numberOfVotes = 0;
name = "Unfilled";

//this adds a vote to the numberOfVotes
public VoteFor(){



import cs1.Keyboard; //this is a input class we use in class
public class Vote{

public static void main(String[] args){

Cantidate Kerry = new Cantidate("John Kerry"); //creates Kerry, a variable of type Cantidate
Cantidate Bush = new Cantidate("George W. Bush"); //creates Bush, a variable of type Cantidate
int numberOfVoters = 10000;
int vote;

for (int timesVoted = 0; timesVoted <= numberOfVoters; timesVoted++){
System.out.println("Press 1 for George W. Bush : Press 2 for John Kerry");
vote = Keyboard.readInt();

if (vote == 1) Bush.voteFor();
else if (vote == 2) Bush.voteFor();
else System.out.println("Error!");



Now, that program is rather simple. I'm too lazy to right now, but some minor changes would throw off the whole election.

Machine Story

People fear a machine apocalypse that happens, but it turns out to be under human control. The people who caused it use it as their advantage to take over.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Breaking Down A Religion

Inorder to diassemble a religion, the antithoughts must happen steadily. Radical changes fail.

Each antithought isn't necessarily right, it is simply there as a guide in a new path. Ones that are too radical fail.

Luther was an antithought that worked. Super sudden religions did not.

Christianity - Invalid

Reasons Christianity isn't really valid:
@ Messiah: yes or no?
- Nicea
- Did he ever really say it
+ Son of God, all Jews
+ Son of Man, so am I

@ Judaism?!?!
- Random religious group
+ There were lots of them
- Christianity Impressed by Romans
+ Of course a religion will spread to most of the world's population when impressed upon people

@ No Religion Status
- Becomes a philosophy

Martian Sky

The sky on Earth is blue. Does everything on Earth look blue? No.

So, on Mars, the sky is red. Should everything look red? Yes. Should it? No.

Saturday, November 06, 2004


This guy's article is rather agitating. He has a very good point in that the probability of evolution occuring is next in null. However, he does not attack the legitimacy of the bible, and instead throws a few supporting verses out there and slaughtering the science.

The infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters does apply to this scenario and says that evolution did occur even if half the keys destroy the typewriter. When anything goes ad infinitum, everything possible and impossible happens. This biologist/whatever fails to address the whole picture; he fails to address the quantum aspect of evolution.

There are infinite other universes, with infinite other possibilites. Fuck monkeys, this is about every possibility, ever possible, ever. All of these are real in another demension. Imagine a universe with a giant thinking tree and imagine that that universe imagines us. Since all possibilities are real, we're just another luck of the draw, another random possibility.

Friday, November 05, 2004

College and Scholarship Application

It's all bullshit.

Just about everything we do for our college application is complete bullshit. Join x sport, participate in y club. It's all bullshit for one reason, because there's no bloody passion in it.

Of course I can join y club and be president. The question is, do I really care? No one joins Key Club to help the community, it's about getting that on your college application. Do you think anyone would particiapte in NHS is there wasn't some reward for it?

See, the people produced by these clubs are braindead wishy-washies with no goal but their personal advancement. People know that these clubs will help them get their way, and they do. The honors society would have half as many people if colleges didn't give a fuck.

What colleges fail to consider are personal achievements and individual ideas and leadership. Massive nationwide clubs are founded by adult assholes who make money off of these groups; they train the individual to be "cogs," as Ralph Nader said, in the corprate machine.

I think colleges should base admission on personal achievements. For example, a kid organizes a small community service group. That is far more ambitious than submitting to the NHS. A kid produces a mediocre film; that is a big achievement, especially if more than just his own friends participated.

Open your eyes, morons. I myself and trapped in this machine, but it is my intent to jam it and morph myself into something better. Time, folks, time.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Ad Shruburrio

To President George W. Bush, President of the United States of America.

It has come to my attention that you were recently elected as President of the United States of America, Land of the Brave and Home of the Free, God Blessed, etc. However, I must state that although you were elected with a legitimate majority decision by your constituents, there are certain reasons for which you are not the optimal cantidate for such a daunting task.

To begin, let us start with the blatantly obvious. Your economic policies are total garbage. Your administration started with the biggest surplus in the history of the United States of America, Land of the Brave and Home of the Free, God Blessed, etc. and ended up with the largest deficit in human history. How you pulled that off beats me, but I wouldn't mind learning incase I wanted to destroy the national economy of some poor country that is an enemy of mine.

One of the premier tasks of your administration is to reunify the nation, but it is notable that you are the person who caused the nation to divide in the first place! What logic is there, then, that you, the divisior, perform the reunification.

People state that you are the ideal cantidate because you were elected by a voter turnout only superceded by that in 1968. In 1968, President Nixon was elected, and if your memory or education has failed you, Nixon is known as one of the most crooked presidents of all time for attempting to bug the Democratic National Headquarters in Washington D.C. Therefore, I don't think the majority of your nation is worthy of selecting a cantidate.

Many voters in certain states that supported you were over 60. Those people will die in 18 years on average. They will not be affected, if affected at all, by the potential damage your administration does to the world in the next four years.

Please, if you wish to start a war, do it correctly. You should have done it one of two ways: democratically or imperialistically. My preference, being an emperor, is the imperialistic manner. Rally the troops, surge into battle without any prior warning to anybody and destroy everything that lies in the decimated region. Either that, or you could have followed your goverment's standard of cautiously planning and figuring out what you need to do for a clean victory. The imperialistic method isn't well excepted now-a-days, and I can't blame nations for rejecting it. It's rather cruel, after all. I don't like killing my people, at least.

It's also undeniable that you flat-out lied to your people, claiming that a threat existed that didn't. You knew it didn't. Your party critisized your challenger for being a "flip-flop." Seeing that you changed your mind about the cause for which you declared war on the poor, devastated nation of Iraq about four times, you fit into the same category.

I do have to congratulate you on successfully brainwashing about half of your nation, as I have never seen such blind, ignorant support since the days of Nazi Germany. Actually, no, Hitler was a very good leader, so those who supported him had some sort of backing in their decision. Therefore, I MUST congratulate you on successfully brainwashing a good hald of your nation, as I have never see such blind, ignorant support EVER.

So, I, the Emperor of the Moon, order for George W. Bush, President of the United States of America to resign immediately from the position of president and to surrender his position to the superior cantidate. Otherwise, Bush's former cabinet members will be subscribed to a list of genetics research involunteers where, when the time comes, they will be arrested and used for that purpose.

This message is final.

-][- Pope Dan Simonson, Emperor of the Moon, KSC -][-

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

You fucking homophobic, gun loving, "family values" assholes. BURN IN HELL

No one cares about John Kerry's war record. If you do care, this is the bottom line. Kerry served overseas. Bush didn't. Actually, Bush barely served at all. Remember, he went AWOL. Kerry got wounded.

Bush lied. Bush is extremely corrupt. Bush sent people to die without probable cause. Bush's administration is full of Nazis.

Sexual moral values do not belong in law. No one should care if you fucked aides up the ass or if you're an impotent dumbass. No one should care if your gay neighbors are happily living together, not a damn thing bothering anyone in the world except the fact they are something they have no control over.

Anyone who hates gay people is probally gay anyway.

Stick that in your ass and eat it.