Thursday, September 30, 2004

God isn't omnipotent, he's impotent

If I went around telling everyone that I loved them, and that they better bow down and worship me or I'll kick their ass, would you think I was an asshole?

Well, that's what God does, so that makes him an asshole.

He's just pissed off because he's impotent. That's why fornication is a sin, because he's pissed cuz he can't fuck people, so he tells everyone else they can't or he'll kick their ass. Last time he got a hard-on was to that Mary chick, and that was 2000 years ago. I'd be pretty pissed if I hadn't had a hard-on for 2000 years.

God threatens you with hell and promises heaven if you kiss his ass. Heaven sounds really boring. Really, it does. And I don't like bright lights either, and if that place is really white it'll hurt my eyes. The only reason people want to go to heaven is so they don't go to hell. That's really stupid. I'd rather go somewhere cool, like the Quasimoon or something along those lines. Way fucking cooler than heaven or hell.

Btw, they copied all that stuff from Greek religion anyway. Hail Eris! Drink to Bacchus! Hail Artemis!


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