Thursday, August 26, 2004

The Vacuum Suckers

A band was started by three boys and a girl in 2041 called the Vacuum Suckers. This is their road to superstardom:

First, they get good at their music and make something that sounds unique. They play a few local clubs for money and start a website to distribute Mp3's. People like their music at the clubs; they get a couple bucks from that which covers their website costs.

One of their band members plugs the website up to a utility that automatically registers their downloads with the DPRA (Download Payment Regulation Agency) so that they get a few cents for each time their songs are downloaded. The DPRA makes its cash from (1) a near microscopic percentage on one's income tax, costing maybe 3 dollars per year and (2) a few cents from blank CDs and cassette tapes. The DPRA registers fileswaps and downloads, then pays artists accordingly.

The band starts to see their hits go up, so they begin to focus more on improving their music. Larger local venues start to see the bands rising popularity, so they invite the bands to play at their clubs. The bands are paid based on the crowds the draw. The band's listening audience increases exponentially due to word of mouth. The band makes enough to live on per month through merchanizing and downloads.

The Vacuum Suckers catch the eye of an agent who negotiates tours, television appearances, and other good stuff. He calls them and invites them to run a national tour. First, though, the band's name must really be out there, so they makes some television appearances before their tour beings.

Then the tour begins. Inorder to make a good amount of cash, the band plays 15 shows nationwide. The agent gets an equal share with the band members, so the tour income is split into 5ths.

Since the band is not at superstardom state yet, they rent out smaller venues. Most of these hold an average of 7,500 people and cost an average of $1,500 (or 10% of total ticket sales, whatever is greater). The shows attract an average of 5,000 people at $15 a ticket. Each show draws in $75,000, the venues take $7,500 leaving $67,500 per show. After 15 shows in their national tour, the band makes $1,012,500. The money is split up, leaving $202,500 per person, enough to retire on.

However, another national tour would be even more successful the second time around. The Vacuum Suckers are awesome in concert. Their agent plans this one bigger, renting out larger venues. This time, the profits increase by x10, with the average venue holding 75,000 people. The end result, each band member makes $2,025,000.

In the last tour, the band didn't even sellout. On their third national tour at the peak of the prosperity, the band sells out at every venue. The end result? $15,187,500 from the tour, a total of $3,037,500 per band member (and the agent).

Although this success story is exagerated, each band member became a millionare through a few national tours and with good talent. This could be the future of music, a future without the RIAA. It may never happen this way, but it's a hope.

Third Eye

Having a third eye would completely change one's view of the world. With two eyes, we percieve things on a two demensional, flat plain. Three would change our vision to percieve height better, changing our view of the world.

Return Journey

I'm gonna be gone this week; I'm returning from the moon. I don't have an internet hook-up because I have to keep channels open for emergencies.

See you the 2nd.

Soul

notknowingwhere: I cried, i wept, i sighed, i snoted.my l
Is it possible that when a person dies, the reason we do not feel the body is theirs is because the soul has left? This makes the person not feel like them, a six sense of a person, per se.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Funeral

When a church turns a funeral into an evangelistic propaganda opportunity, it's rather insulting. Our good fellow Steven was insulted today, at least in my opinion, since his church did this. I wanted to hear about Steven's life, not about how I can "rejoin" him after I die.

Don't use Steven as an excuse, don't call his death a miracle to bring people to Jesus. You're only hurting people; you're only destroying the possible hope these people had. Discordia works in mysterious ways, but then again she really doesn't work at all. She started a chain reaction 6 billion+ years ago that resulted in human existance: Scuba died not because God or Goddess wanted him to, he died so that the rest of us could exist. If the river did not have that undertow, that single change would disrupt the Earth so greatly that inorder for it to not exist, none of us may exist at all.

Whenever someone dies, they have died for the future. Our world today exists with the people it has in it as a result of the order of life and death that has occured in the world. Death drives the future. Our time was made through death.

Condemning events to God or Goddess's mysterious ways is like trying to learn a language, but instead of learning how it works, learning vocabulary only. It makes a malformed, poorly created piece of half truth that is barely recognizable to a true speaker of the langauge.

Sadly, these false truths are spread around everyday.

Steven's funeral reminds me of 9/11. His death was a tragedy, and it was used as an opportunity to gain more influence and power. It has nothing to do with the victims of the tragedy and everything to do with those who saw opportunity in it.

Steven, rest in peace. I hope you hear and agree with my words. I never knew you very well, but I'll tell you this: I really don't think your funeral was what you wanted it to be. You don't seem like the kind of person who would have wanted this; your family may have, but your friends did not. I don't think they saw you in it, and the glimpse of truth that was revealed told me that. There was no humor in it. There was no trick.

Before hand, during the viewing, I did a fast image stream. I wanted to see what happened after death, so I envisioned a door. This door was on a giant, floating brick sphere that floated over a small bay that I quite often see while I meditate. I opened the door, and cold, metal ball bearings came out. Simple cold death, but after I dug deep into the door, into the sphere, I found a great ball of bright white light. This ball is a common symbol of consciousness for me. Consciousness remains hidden behind the veil of death. I believe this, I believe you're listening, and that is why I leave my words for you.

Later in the "vision," I cracked open a ball bearing. This time they were larger than the others, but nevertheless, ball bearings. The ball split in half, and inside was a glowing white light.

Yea, so it sounds dumb, but your pineal gland is useful, for that is what I consulted and found.

Your consciousness survive forever, Steven.

(On a different note, who put the "fun" in funeral? Sickos.)

Cycles

Everything in the world is part of ever repeating paterns. I'm too lazy to think of examples right now.

Celebrity Obsession

Why does anyone care about the life of celebrities? They're entitled to their privacy, and not only that, but why care? It has nothing to do with your life, don't you have a life of your own? Why do I care if Tom Cruise is getting divorced from Dumb Bitch Whatever?

Entertainers used to be slaves and really poor people. Actors now-a-days make millions of dollars for doing the same things slaves did thousands of years ago.

What the fuck!?

Die Spyware

Spyware needs to die. No one click on your stupid ads anyway, let alone goes through with the mysterious deals you offer. Go away, assholes.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Sperm

Everytime a man ejaculates, he sprays millions of sperm out of his eurethra. Only one, if any, survives. Technically, aren't those all little human beings? Since they all die, isn't that as evil as an abortion?

What about when a woman has her period? The egg gets dropped at the end. It's murder.

Stupid fucking morons.

FUCK FRITZ

Microsoft%27s Palladium and the %22Fritz Chip%22

Ever heard of the "Fritz-chip?" This senator by the name of Fritz is pushing for these damn things to be put in computers so you can't download MP3s. I really hope those RIAA fuckers burn in the darkest, moldiest parts of hell. That's right, they'll mold and burn at the same time those fuckers.

"The bottom line is this. Computer and software makers are desperate to lock down the ability of modern computers until they are nothing more than paid content providing systems. This is not what computers were made for, they were made to be multifunctional, programmable devices with almost unlimited capabilities. Capabilities that the MPAA (motion picture assoc. of America) and RIAA (recording industry assoc. of America) want eliminated ASAP. "

AMEN!

From the programmers to the network engies, from the librarians to the random bum with a computer in his face, this law must be stopped. This is now or never. Save the internet, save the world, or get your asses squashed.

The RIAA is scared. You can tell. Let's bring them down sadistically, let them scream in pain.

RIAA and NAZI mean the same thing to me. They want to control what you see, hear, and feel. The world around you is theirs, it is your job to pump as much fucking money into it as humanly possible so you can experience more of it.

This is exactly how the holocaust started. Let's look at this event by event.
Rich, Jewish businessmen avoid taxes = Average consumer pisses on RIAA by not buying CDs
German state falls into debt = RIAA gets fucked over
German state attacks business Jews as a means to avenge tax fraud = RIAA sues "large suppliers of files"
German state initates final solution = RIAA persecutes as many people as possible
German state (would have) becomes tolitarian paradise = RIAA installs Fritz-chip

Maybe I could have analized it better, but here's a better example. Have you ever seen the movie or read the book "A Clockwork Orange?" Basically, a scientist attempts to cure ill-will in men by creating a conditioned response, an intense sickness that mimics the process of dying, to sex and violence. This is similar. Our computers are kept away from "the evils of the world," however, we still desire this things. People will still want free Mp3's. We've been laid once, now we want more.


Senator Fritz, you're a fucking sellout. You're an insult to democracy. I hope you have an affair so your ass gets plastered on every magazine, newspaper, and television as a sick lying bastard, and your bill in support of your fucking chip can fizzle away.

I hope you get filibustered, bitch.

So, the battle for Middle-internet begins.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Retro vs. Metro

Retro vs. Metro

Stop flipping out. Someone will probally get shot this election. Who cares? Kerry's got the election owned just because Bush is hated so much. No one cares. We're fucked no matter who we vote for. Let's go blow up some more countries now.

Thomas Edison sucks

Nikola Tesla - Wikipedia%2C the free encyclopedia

Thomas Edison is an ideolized American jackass.

For years, in school and other places, I have been given an image of Thomas Edison as a good, hard working man. He tried over and over with different filaments for the light bulb, hundreds of times. It seemed he embodied perseverence.

This quote opened me to the truth,
"Tesla worked for Thomas Edison, who offered him $50,000 for improvements in Edison's DC dynamos. Tesla worked nearly a year to redesign them and, when inquired about the $50,000, Edison replied him, "Tesla, you don't understand our American humor." Tesla resigned."

Thomas Edison is an American weasel. This was only the beginning of Edison's crimes against good in the name of greed.

"General Electric Company (backed by Thomas Edison and J.P. Morgan) proposed to power the fair with direct current at the cost of one million dollars. Westinghouse proposed to illuminate the exposition with Tesla's AC system for half as much. Despite Edison's attempt to prevent the use of his light bulbs with Tesla's system, Westinghouse's proposal was chosen over the inferior DC system to power the fair."

Edison the nooob gets owned again, and so he decided to...
"During this time, direct current was the standard for electricity distribution, and Edison didn't want to loose all his patent royalties to a former employee. In order to promote DC over the more efficient alternating current advocated by Tesla, Edison (or, reportedly, one of his employees) misused Tesla's patents to construct the first electric chair for the state of New York thus creating false impression that AC is deadly."

I could go on, but I'll conclude with this. Tesla is the father of electricity. Edison is a rip off jerk off.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Solar Sail

Solar Sail

Reminds me of a book Kerry and I once found that read at the end of the book in a caption, "One day, men will land on the moon."

X-Box Live

When everyone's free first year of X-Box live runs out, they're gonna quit playing it and start playing PC games again.

Console P2P multiplayer is bullshit. Why would I pay $5 - $10 a month to play game when I could play the same game, or a better one, with a mouse, for free. Not only that, but I could produce mods and new maps. Try and pull that off, X-Bux (which stands for "no money").

Tricky

Tricky is the only good rapper in the world. He is from England. He is the only guy I've heard make Spanish sound cool... unless it was Portugese. In that case, I renounce my thrid statement.

Traveling

Imagine going somewhere for 7 years, plotting different routes of persuit, hoping that your destination even exists, considering that it may never be. Once you arrive though, you're so bewildered, you forget why you even came, and you're so surprised and happy to reach that point that you don't know what to do.

Yea, well, that's where I am.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Preparation

It seems like the only focus of a teacher is to "prepare you for x grade/level." Back in 2nd grade, we were getting ready for third grade. In fourth grade, the next hell we were getting ready for was fifth grade. In sixth grade, middle school. In high school, all we do is "get ready for college."

Why don't we just learn what we're supposed to learn instead of always getting ready for getting ready for getting ready...

Metaundae

Metaundae are something I thought of. They are metaphysical "waves" where certain ideas or events occur multiple times, coincidentally close. For example, in a class room, three or four people come up with the same answer completely indepently. Another example, multiple pieces or symbols appear to remind one's self of a certain time or even in the past.

Once I flesh this idea out some more, I'll write a little more.

Women's Gymnastics

Women's Gymnastics is the best Olympic sporting event.

Half-Life 2 and Halo 2

Halflife2.net - the definitive source for Half-Life 2

Half-Life 2 is so awesome, it makes Halo 2 look like a joke. Yea, so what if you can blow up vehicles in Halo 2. "Wow, look, I blew off a wing." In Half-Life 2, it's so realisitic, you can read the emotions on someone face because each face has 40 freakin facial muscles. Yea, Halo 2, just try and pull that off Mr. Masked loser. Gordon Freeman will kick Master Chief's ass any day. I mean, shit, Gordon can carry more weapons than you. Loser.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Grandma

If your grandmother mentioned something about not getting enough sex, what would you do?

Somehow, this event popped up in my mind, and I thought about what I would do. My parents would be in complete shock and so would I. However, precognating this moment, I have planned exactly what I would do, I would yell, "SEE! THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL, EXCEPT I'VE NEVER BEEN LAID!!!" At their moment of shock, submission would be quick and subconscious, and I would probally get a free box of condoms the next day.

Cambodia

Some time, I want to visit a monestary or whatever they call them of Buddhist monks and talk to them about religious things. I had more to add to this, but I think that summed it up.

Tension Headache Guy

"You get tension headache, you take tension headache."

I hate that guy.

Anomoly

Funny thing to put in your profile:
100% of teens are dumbasses. If you're an anomoly, put this in your profile.

The Principia Discordia: Classic Lines

Here are some classic lines from The Principia Discordia. Hail ERIS!

Western Union Telegram
To: Jehova Yahweh
Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential Tier, Paradise
Dear God;
This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference

Respectfully,

Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest


---

Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words:
No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.


---

THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER.

WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED
POUNDS OF CHAINS!


---

A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.

"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."

OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.



Go read the Principia now. It will change you forever. FOREVER. AND EVER. AND CHEESE.

Dolphins

Scientists for years have been trying to interpret "Dolphin Language." I don't think they know a damn word of it.

Dolphins are probally really telepathic. They don't need to communicate with sound. The only make those noises to annoy the shit out of us trying to figure out what they're saying. They're probally crackin jokes about our scientists taking notes at their fraudulent noises.

Co-ed Sports

Why aren't all sports co-ed? If a girl wants to play football, why won't they let her? If a guy wants to play volleyball, shouldn't he be allowed? Why shouldn't a girl be able to hit other players in lacrosse? What, is a girl too weak to get smacked in the torso with a six foot long pole?

I think separating sports is an insult to women. It just is.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Taxi Movie

When I first saw previews for this, I thought, "Hmm, this might be pretty funny." Then I thought about it some more and realized the truth.

It's another stupid white cop meets black cop movie.

This time though, the black cop is a female cab driver.

I wonder when white cop meets hispanic cop movies will start coming out. It's bound to happen. I'm just wishing the genre will die. (insert race) cop meets (insert race) cop is far over done.

The only goodish movie I've seen pull it off was Die Hard With a Vengence. Why was this? The characters were realisitic, and although race was an issue in the film, there are far more plot elements that make the race issue a side issue. The two over come their difference unoffically, without making it a big deal.

Taxi or whatever the fuck it's called is gonna suck royally.

Predator... wtf?

Predators, the species from the popular movies, are part of a civilization of super advanced aliens. How do they communicate? Apparently, they seem to lack the ability to other than loud screams. If this is true, how did the build giant space ships? Also, if they're a giant warrior alien race, wouldn't they dedicate their resources to war and not toward scientific advancement?

Full invisibility is retarded too. Not being able to see an enemy is just boring unless you have a stupid death fetish. Now, if predator was half invisible, I wouldn't have a problem. That would give the target some chance and make things way more interesting. If Predator wanted to hide, he could go squat in a dark corner. He'd be impossible to see. That simple.

National Treasure Looks Retarded

That movie pisses me off. The eye on top of the pyramid you see on the dollar is Illuminatii symbology, not some secret hidden treasure shit. "Novus ordo seclorum." Dumbasses out there.

Editional note: the dollar as we know it was made in the 1940's by someone under FDR, not our founding fathers. Another dumbass mistake.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Alpha

Back in the day, 1812 Overture was the epic song of the times. Now we have In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3. Both too epic for their own good.

GENERIC CLICHE FIRST POST

I'm just testing things like a retarded noob. I mean, I know HTML and stuff, I could make a website if I wanted to, but I decided it'd be way cooler to join the Blog Fad and start one.

What I plan to do with this thing:
Post stuff that's more awesome than you can possibly believe. Er, that is, stuff I think up. This is not a place for politics (maybe) or whining (not in hell).
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